Why Dan Conner Is the Ideal Man

13 Dec

First off – What is with guys these days? I was at my Esthetician last night getting waxed (I have no shame) and she shared with me a story about how this guy was at the shop for over 3 hours getting his whole body waxed. THREE HOURS! WAXED!

Wait… What?!

This is what I have to work with? Men who get their whole body waxed? I once saw (and by saw I mean we had sex from time to time) this guy who would shave his chest regularly and tan regularly. At the time I didn’t think anything about it – he looked really hot. But thinking back on it I wonder why guys find it necessary to emasculate themselves. Going tanning, shaving/waxing off their body hair, making sure their eyebrows are nicer than mine… Are these real men who are supposed to protect us women and have the same beauty rituals? I don’t know about you, but I don’t feel safe anymore.

This leads me to my point. Dan Conner.


If you don’t know who this man is then you don’t know what it is to be a true, blue collar man. One who would never get his eyebrows waxed, or go tanning, or complain about his weight. One who protects, supports and admits he’s wrong when he is right. One who isn’t afraid to get dirty, work hard, admit his loses without deflating his ego (too much).

I know! This character is fictitious. I get it… But someone was on to something when creating this character and I really think men lost the message here. I know what you may be saying to yourself, “…the times are different now than they were before”, okay so maybe that’s true. But honestly, you’re wrong. People these days take pride in the way they look, definitely so, I can appreciate that. I attempt that once in a great while myself. You don’t think Dan slapped on a tie once in a while? Brushed his hair back? Made sure his socks matched that day? He cared! Never once did he complain to Roseanne about his weight or how fat he feels or how he’s trying to workout more to be a “sexy beast”, etc.

Now I am not saying that I want to go out with a complete slob or a person who doesn’t take pride in their appearance, I definitely do. But I don’t want that to be the basic foundation of this person.

Not only is appearance an issue for these new-aged men but so is their whole attitude. You know the saying “Nice guys finish last”? Yeah, that’s true. Because nice guys complain about being nice guys and how girls don’t want nice guys and whine whine whine. YOU’RE WHINING. Nice guys WHINE! Stop whining! I can’t take it anymore. I can’t sit here and listen to a guy talk about how he can’t get a girl to like him for who he is and how he’s such a great guy and blah blah blah. I think it’s great that you’re such a wonderful guy but please just stop whining about it. You look like a baby! Women want men that are TOUGH! Not in the sense that they go out and get into fights every other day; although we secretly find that sexy. I mean we want to be with a guy that doesn’t take our shit, that won’t back down when they feel strongly about something and that will put us in our place when we need it. Take charge! You want my advice? Act like you don’t give a shit.

To reiterate my point – MAN THE FUCK UP!

nicole says: Guys these days are nothing like Dan Conner.


10 Responses to “Why Dan Conner Is the Ideal Man”

  1. fitzythird December 13, 2012 at 5:50 pm #

    Thank you….I was having this conversation with my pilades instructor the other day…..kidding, with a 75 yr old guy that used to know my Dad. He said me being 48 yrs old, that I am the last of a generation where there is no confusing the line between men and women. Im not advocating dominance or anything, just act like a guy and quit looking for reasons to cry…….about EVERTHING….including women. They hate that. You seem very astute….keep up the good work and nice piece (the blog I mean)….not that you dont have a nice ass but I dont see a picture of you here so please dont take it the wrong way cuz I’m sensitive and will have to go shopping to fulfill my emptiness……………….

    • nic0lesays December 13, 2012 at 6:47 pm #

      Hahaha a 75 year old pilates instructor? Nice!

      But really… It’s true. And this is what I have to work with. I’m tired of listening to all the whining and drama. I’m the one who should be whining and being dramatic! Ugh! 🙂

      • fitzythird December 13, 2012 at 6:49 pm #

        Go (if you get a chance) to my blog about multi-tools at http://fitzfocus.wordpress.com and then send it to these fancy boys you keep meeting. (in the humor section) Hope you like it…and it proves helpful…

  2. B-Sizzle December 13, 2012 at 5:53 pm #

    Girl, I live around nothing but Dan Conner’s. There’s a reason why Rosanne was set in Chicago. Seriously, I can think of 4 guys that work in a mill and wear flannel everyday.

    Get yo ass to the mid-west!

  3. nic0lesays December 13, 2012 at 6:47 pm #

    They got beards?

  4. B-Sizzle December 13, 2012 at 6:59 pm #

    It’s a motherfuckin’ sea of chin hair.

  5. Preston December 26, 2012 at 9:15 pm #

    Get blogging!

    • B-Sizzle January 15, 2013 at 3:26 pm #

      I agree

      • nic0lesays January 15, 2013 at 3:42 pm #

        Okay okay! New post up!! Sheesh guys!!!

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