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A Journey of a Thousand Miles Begins With One Donut

6 Mar

Seriously – why is finding motivation to exercise and lose weight and become a more healthier citizen in this healthy-crazed society so difficult!? It’s almost like my body is revolting, or my mind, against the man.

Nothing has been really motivating me much lately to drop the necessary weight – and I know what everyone is thinking, “Nicole, you’re already smoking hot!” – true! But hey, we can all drop a few 50lbs here and there right? I’m going to be honest with everyone. I am 5’4″ (adorable) and I haven’t been under 210lbs in over a year, before that never not under 200lbs since like 2012. My heaviest was 225lbs and I never want to see that number again – or get close. Maybe one day I will get the balls to post some pictures.  Today just isn’t that day!

I read blogs almost on a daily basis about others’ weight loss and success stories so maybe that’s what I need to do. Blog the shit out of it. It gets pretty tiring trying over and over or thinking about what COULD happen if I fit into regular clothing.  Hell maybe I’d get laid more. Or consistently laid. I don’t any more reasons to hold myself back from opportunities. So let’s try this route and if I stop blogging about this shit then you know I fell off the wagon – or forgot to blog – and I am quitter. Maybe I’ll go back to blogging about something else. Who knows. I guess we will see. However, I am going to the Bahamas in May – it would be nice to enjoy it in my own skin; unlike any vacation I’ve been on where I hated life because I felt everyone was judging me.

I am currently “training” for a 10K. I use the quotations because I am not signed up for one at the moment but I am working on C210K. Tomorrow is my next run and it will end Week 4. I also bought Jillian Michaels’ 30 Day Shred through groupon – once that comes in I will begin that as well. I also do Weight Watchers 5 days a week (I fall off on weekends – gotta change that) and I own a fitbit. I have all the markings of  motivated person – without the motivations.

Any suggestions or motivational tips will be greatly appreciated.



Proper protoCall with Booty Calls.

29 Apr

This isn’t a How to – it’s more of a How do I..

Can I just first off telling you some background information. Thanks!

I started hanging out with this guy about a year ago and he seemed mostly concerned with just getting into my pants, which is fine! I am into dudes in my pants, but it was right off the bat and I just wanted to get to know him more. So we did that on and off – just talking to each other, long phone calls, texts all day… it was every girls dream! He was trying to be patient with me, and almost thinking that I was a true nun.

Finally I said fuck it, and literally. He came over a couple times a week bringing me things and making me dinner and yeah, we did it too. I can’t say that I am the most experience sexer in the world, or even close. My track record is low. But this was the best D that I have ever had. Then out of nowhere he disappeared off of the planet. Wouldn’t answer calls or texts.

Every couple months he would text me saying he was sorry and we would hangout for a couple weeks and the same thing happened.

It’s been a year and we are still doing this. Now it’s more he comes over once every couple weeks and stays about an hour and leaves. Which is fine because now I understand what his real intentions are whether or not he comes out and tells me.

The issue is: I love his D so much I want it every day if possible. Though I know that’s not how “Booty Calls” should work. Right?

I’ve never been involved in something like this – I just want sex with someone who cares about me and I care about them and we have this connections and blah blah yawn yawn. Yeah, eventually – but right now I want to try something different – be someone I never had the guts to be (a bit slutty, yes indeed!). But now I have no real protocall on this situation.

How long to wait inbetween each call? If it were up to me – two days max. If he ignores my calls and expects me to answer his – should I stop bothering with it? Should it be a two way street? The chances of him getting bored with me? I fear that – unfortunately I want something good to come out of all this fucking. Possible? How far in advanced can you make one? What if I know I have the apartment to myself this weekend – can I ask now?!

I read about this stuff on a constant basis because I am a horrible, insecure human being that gets self help from articles online. I tend to read into the things he does more than I should. I’ll read articles on how there should be no kissing – but all we do is kiss – 75% of the time. We look at each other. We have conversations with each other. We text each other occasionally about things other than sex… I am so over-thinking this aren’t I?

Basically I just want to get into the male mind. I want to know secrets. Tell me secrets and I will tell you secrets about the female mind. Give me advice. Give me your input. Tell me how lame I am. Anything.


Do you hate me yet?

Typical Holiday Travelers

15 Jan

Holiday traveling is probably the best part of the season – Wouldn’t you agree? Yeah, I don’t agree either.

This whole not having a car thing can be pretty shitty during the holidays and taking a bus back to New York is even shittier. Although, in my opinion, Greyhound bus lines do a great job here in Boston getting their passengers on express buses and on time! I never panic when I am the 100th person in line because I know there will be another bus following the one at the dock. DON’T PANIC PEOPLE! But all this traveling has made me come up with my favorite types of travelers! Yay!

Here is what I came up with: The Sick, The Phoner, The Socialite,  The Quiet One, The Lean Backer, The Two-Seater, The Snorer.

The Sick: Ugh. I hate this one. The people who are coughing, and sneezing and sniffling… You are grossing me out and I just cannot sit next to you, near you, or in ear shot of you. Don’t travel. Just..don’t!

The Phoner:  Quite possibly one of the most obnoxious travelers on board. Usually these people are so crazy loud on their phone so the whole bus has to hear their boring, pointless conversation. I also think it’s pretty interesting that these people tend to be older males. When I get a phone call – I ignore it then text the person back saying HEY I’M ON A BUS, DON’T CALL ME! It’s the polite thing to do…

The Socialite: Not to be confused with The Phoner – this person will chat it up with ANYONE on the bus. These are people I avoid – I’ll judge people in the line while we wait and then avoid them at all costs. Headphones do the trick or maybe a Netflix documentary on the deadliest gang in America (MS13, btw)… I don’t want to have 3 hours of small talk with anyone. The fact that small talk exists is bad enough. I also cannot stand listening to people talk; this should be a quiet, relaxing ride… Keep to yourself and everyone will be happy.

The Quiet One: MY FAVORITE! If you couldn’t guess. This is me. Don’t talk to anyone, don’t look at anyone. Just keep to yourself. Listen to your music and enjoy the ride.. Everyone should be this one! PLEASE BE THIS ONE?!?!

The Lean Backer: I hate you. Don’t lean back and take up my leg room… Ever. Just don’t. You don’t need to. And if you do, at least give a warning first so I can move my knees so you won’t crush them. Also, I am 5’4 and you are crushing my life here… How would you feel if someone leaned back on you? Think of others!

The Two-Seater: This is such my luck. You don’t even have to be that big and you still find a way to have your body pour into my area. And yes – POUR.  How about this.. Keep your legs clenched together like I do and no one uses the middle arm rest. Don’t put your feet near mine, or lean your head near mine. I paid for this seat and no you may not take it over.. I lean opposite of where you are sitting – please do the same. Next time I will bite you. SUE ME.

The Snorer: Last but not least – I should be annoyed mostly by you -but I am not. Don’t get me wrong I still hate your guts but at least you were quiet enough to fall asleep and you just happen to snore. You are still loud and still interfere with my quiet time so I dislike you, but I respect you. Wake up once in a while and you and me will be best friends 🙂

There you have it. My list of typical holiday travelers (in no particular order). These can vary – but overall they’re just branches of the ones above. Sometimes I feel if I take a train my life will be a lot happier – but do I want to take over 5 hours to get to some place that will only take me 3? Is it worth it? Three years in and I still haven’t figured it out… Safe travels, blogmites.

Why Dan Conner Is the Ideal Man

13 Dec

First off – What is with guys these days? I was at my Esthetician last night getting waxed (I have no shame) and she shared with me a story about how this guy was at the shop for over 3 hours getting his whole body waxed. THREE HOURS! WAXED!

Wait… What?!

This is what I have to work with? Men who get their whole body waxed? I once saw (and by saw I mean we had sex from time to time) this guy who would shave his chest regularly and tan regularly. At the time I didn’t think anything about it – he looked really hot. But thinking back on it I wonder why guys find it necessary to emasculate themselves. Going tanning, shaving/waxing off their body hair, making sure their eyebrows are nicer than mine… Are these real men who are supposed to protect us women and have the same beauty rituals? I don’t know about you, but I don’t feel safe anymore.

This leads me to my point. Dan Conner.


If you don’t know who this man is then you don’t know what it is to be a true, blue collar man. One who would never get his eyebrows waxed, or go tanning, or complain about his weight. One who protects, supports and admits he’s wrong when he is right. One who isn’t afraid to get dirty, work hard, admit his loses without deflating his ego (too much).

I know! This character is fictitious. I get it… But someone was on to something when creating this character and I really think men lost the message here. I know what you may be saying to yourself, “…the times are different now than they were before”, okay so maybe that’s true. But honestly, you’re wrong. People these days take pride in the way they look, definitely so, I can appreciate that. I attempt that once in a great while myself. You don’t think Dan slapped on a tie once in a while? Brushed his hair back? Made sure his socks matched that day? He cared! Never once did he complain to Roseanne about his weight or how fat he feels or how he’s trying to workout more to be a “sexy beast”, etc.

Now I am not saying that I want to go out with a complete slob or a person who doesn’t take pride in their appearance, I definitely do. But I don’t want that to be the basic foundation of this person.

Not only is appearance an issue for these new-aged men but so is their whole attitude. You know the saying “Nice guys finish last”? Yeah, that’s true. Because nice guys complain about being nice guys and how girls don’t want nice guys and whine whine whine. YOU’RE WHINING. Nice guys WHINE! Stop whining! I can’t take it anymore. I can’t sit here and listen to a guy talk about how he can’t get a girl to like him for who he is and how he’s such a great guy and blah blah blah. I think it’s great that you’re such a wonderful guy but please just stop whining about it. You look like a baby! Women want men that are TOUGH! Not in the sense that they go out and get into fights every other day; although we secretly find that sexy. I mean we want to be with a guy that doesn’t take our shit, that won’t back down when they feel strongly about something and that will put us in our place when we need it. Take charge! You want my advice? Act like you don’t give a shit.

To reiterate my point – MAN THE FUCK UP!

nicole says: Guys these days are nothing like Dan Conner.

Top 5 Ways To Be a Great Friend

10 Dec

1. Listen: Sounds easy right? It’s not.. You’d actually be surprised on just how difficult it is for some people to listen to you. We all have our issues and we all like to complain/spill our guts/gossip to our best friends.

But do you ever have that one friend (or two, or three, etc) that just won’t take the time to give their attention to you.. It always somehow redirects back to them? I can’t really pinpoint the reason why people do this without knowing they’re doing it. Do they not have a genuine concern about someone else? Are they from another country and our customs are so different?  To me, it’s common courteousness – “How was your weekend?”, ‘Mine was good, how was yours?’ See how easy that is? Both parties showing interest… It’s a beautiful thing 🙂 Some people just don’t reciprocate the concern of others. This is a key factor in how to be a great friend. It usually stands out to me very fast whether or not this person is caring or not, and it’s even faster how soon I will dismiss this character.

2. Be Honest: Will you please tell me when I have something in my teeth? Or if my stomach looks fat in this shirt? Or that I have makeup smeared all over my face? Or maybe my dance moves aren’t up to par and I look ridiculous? Even give me positive honesty as well.

Why as friends do we feel the need to let our other friends fail? Why are we so scared to tell them something honestly? “That dress you are wearing just doesn’t look good on you.” Yeah, I said that once – It was before we went out and I thought she should know! She felt crushed. I’m sorry she felt crushed… but wouldn’t you want to know that!?

This can also go another way – Please don’t ever compare myself to you. Or say something about you is better than something about me. We are friends and not in competition. Or are we and I am not aware? Why put me down for you to get some form of self-confirmation? Especially if you put me down in front of other people. It’s not cool – you don’t end up looking better; just worse.  Instead we should be boosting up each other’s self confidence and make them feel like we are all on the same level. What I may lack you may have and what you lack I may have – That’s why we should work together.

3. Put in your time: I’m not saying you need to call me every day and see how I am doing but shoot me a text once in a while. If I’m the one that constantly reaches out to you then we need to reevaluate this friendship of ours because that’s not a good friendship. I understand people get busy and if you’re not constantly in their face it may pass their mind. I’m guilty of this as well, definitely not perfect in putting in my own time. I just think I get so bitter about other people passing me up that I take it out on my other friends – which definitely isn’t fair. I apologize.

If you get a new boyfriend/girlfriend I understand our time may not be as frequent as it has been in the past but don’t make me feel like I’m some big outsider now. I understand that you want to have that comfort around and spending all the time together, (you know… I really don’t get that – but let’s go with it) but eventually your friends will just get tired of waiting for you to hang out and just overlook you now.

If you do find time to hangout with me:
Don’t claim to me that you never make me feel like I am a third wheel because that’s never possible. If I am hanging out with you and your boyfriend – I AM THE THIRD WHEEL! No getting around that.
Don’t make plans with me and then try to merge possible plans with your boyfriend and the plans we just made together. Learn to separate yourself from them. If we have to always hangout as a group then I probably won’t chill with you much anymore.
Don’t let them flirt with me or any other friend of yours. It’s uncomfortable for everyone.

4. Let them walk through a door first once in a while: I got this from watching a Real Housewives of New York City episode. One of the housewives claimed that another would always walk through doors first because they thought that their presence was the most important one. I take this into real life now (cheesy, I know) but it’s true! Learn to be humble. Learn that you aren’t any better than your friends and you don’t deserve some red carpet at your feet when you’re together.

I have this friend who basically subconsciously refuses to hold doors open for other people. They will gladly walk through a door you hold open, without a thank you, but never open the door for someone else. When I first started to realize that my friend would do this I decided to test it out. I would hold the door open for them and listen to any type of gratitude… nothing. Then I would stand near them while a door approached and watched their movements. They slowed down and waited for the door to be opened. After a while I decided I’m just going to walk through this door first! That’ll show them – or so I thought. What ended up happening is I would hold the door open behind me until this person would walk through without holding the door open for themselves… WHO DOES THAT? Now I just hold it open for a second and let it hit them. But they’re too busy texting (why isn’t “texting a word?)  their significant other to even notice. Oh well, self victory for me.

The moral of the story: Realize that you are not the only living creature on this planet and we need all be on equal playing fields. Never think you’re better than your friends (and if you do, don’t let your actions tell them – keep it a secret).

5. Don’t be a flake!: This is the most important one there is! Raise your hand if you ever had a friend that would go to make plans with you and either a) avoid talking to you up until around that time or b) come up with every excuse to not hangout. Don’t cancel plans on me last minute unless it’s the truth. If you do it often enough I will know that you just don’t want to hangout and never ask again. Don’t make plans with me and then completely forget when the time comes and go M.I.A. – I won’t reach out to you and ask what happened, I’ll just straight up ignore you.

Or if I ask you if you want to come over and you never, ever come over.. but I find myself at your place all the time… something isn’t cool about that. If I am not too lazy to travel to your place but you’re too lazy to come to mine once in a while – that’s an issue. No one likes traveling, not everyone is going to like your place – or my place, but it just shows you’re willing to put effort into seeing me.

So don’t make plans and cancel or don’t make vague plans with me so nothing is really official and you can just let them slip through. I do that with guys I don’t really want to hangout with; I’m on to your tricks.

nicole says: show your friends you care about them because you never know when you can lose one – being a good friend is a lot like a relationship – with no sex.

Why would I ever think dating someone 11 years older would work.

9 Dec

Okay okay. It wasn’t that bad. But yeah. It was pretty bad. I should inform everyone that I am a freshly turned 27 year old who has basically given up on having standards when it comes to men. So I try online dating once in a while with low expectations and hope for an entertaining outcome.

I didn’t know he was 37 at first. He originally said 29. He also originally gave me the wrong name. Let’s say I thought this guy’s name was Bob and he’s 29. We didn’t speak much at first but the things we did talk about was amusing. I like amusing. I’m always trying to find something different and fun… He was! Finally I decided to get off this website – it was just too much annoyance for me to deal with. I sent him a message with my number in it and we started texting after that. Texting turned into phone calls…
These weren’t normal phone calls. They were on average 7 hour long phone calls. This is where he decided to tell me his real name is – let’s say Jack and he’s 37. I was bothered but the things he said were so interesting and so funny. I wanted to see what happened. He was just a great time. Something different I thought. We eventually hung out.
He picked me up in his Acura and we drove through Boston laughing. Listening to weird metal music he made and everything so far was fine. We ended up deciding on going to this Irish place; I like Reubens – this works. As soon as he got out of his car it hit me. This guy is just too old for me. He’s basically dressed like my father, limping like my father. What am I doing! We sit down and I finally get to really look at him. He’s not ugly by no means. But he’s definitely 37. We spoke about music and work and friends. Normal things. But the age just kept hitting me. Hair coming out of his white undershirt. Nails unclipped. Limping. Stretching. The way he wiped his face every bite he took. The way he awkwardly joked to the waitress and told her stories from like 10 years ago. I really was just not feeling this. I wanted to go home and have a real stiff drink.
We finally finish and he’s trying to figure out what we should do next and I’m agreeing but he just keeps changing his mind… In my mind I’m screaming to go home. In the car he mentions he’s tired. HERE IS MY CHANCE! So I tell him that we probably shouldn’t do anything else because I don’t want him to be too tired to drive back home. I don’t know if he bought it but he agreed. I thank him and hop out of his car. 3 strong Tom Collins followed.

Maybe this doesn’t seem like the worst thing possible. But it was definitely an experience.

Nicole says: Maybe I’ll try 8 years now

Nicole says… what?

5 Dec

So, I know you’re probably thinking to yourself, “Who’s Nicole and why do I care what she says!?”

Those are two really good questions and I will be more than happy to answer them for you!

Who is Nicole: Well.. I’m no one really. I have no importance at this very moment to anyone really but two cats who depend on me to scoop their food into their dishes twice a day and clean their litter box when I have a few extra minutes in the morning. I moved to Boston about 2 years ago to discover the world as a new adult! And what have I discovered? Not a whole lot really..

I work one of those “9-5” office jobs for a great company. I live with one of my very good friends. Not a whole lot of excitement coming from me. This leads into your second question…

Why do I care what she says: You don’t and shouldn’t. No, really.. Don’t care about what I say because what I will say may be offensive and may hurt some feelings.. BUT DON’T LET IT! Because who am I really?

I always wanted to write a blog about something completely random – random reviews – random thoughts – random life experiences – random advice. Something SOMEONE could relate to. So please please please – ask me anything; review something, advice on something, opinion on something..ANYTHING. If you want to try something but not sure.. Maybe I’ll try it and let you know! Please note that this blog may not be considered G rated at times either.

nicole says: it’s the god’s honest truth.