Tag Archives: relationships

First Date Purgatory

9 Oct

Sorry –  I am boy/date/relationship crazy. Deal with it!

Are there rules for dating? Who wrote them! I need some insight with this whole dating game. Because – it is a game. I hate that it’s a game! Why can’t we just date, be who we are, say what we want! Nooooo, there has to be rules! And protocols! GAH!

So last week I tried OkCupid! for my online dating adventure for the month. (Judge me, IDC). This one guy messaged me and we had a good banter back and forth – I got a bit interested. He then asked “Are you ideally looking for something real?” to which I respond, “Ideally. Yes” Because nothing is ever IDEALLY. It’s always a HASSLE. Anyways – we exchange phone numbers and start to text. Which then turns into a phone call. Which then turns into “I like him!”. So far so good! He’s complimenting me. Saying how “beautiful” I am – yada yada. All I am thinking is “Meet me first then decide.”

Blah blah blah he asks me out for Sunday night. Which is fine since he’s busy with work all weekend. Sunday comes around and it’s so hard to get plans out of this guy! We meet up around 7PM and have, what I think, is a GREAT NIGHT! We talked and walked for hours, we laughed and goofed around. It was fun! He asked me what I was doing Friday night and how he wanted to see me again – so we made brief plans for Friday.

I really enjoyed this! Date ends, we go our separate ways. We text a bit until I get home (scared to walk home in the dark alone) and he’s saying how much fun he had and how beautiful I am and how much he likes me, yada yada, looking forward to Friday. SWOON! Then we text goodnight.

Holy am I smitten! Monday strolls along and I am cloud 9! He texts me in the morning a little then goes to work. I text him here and there.. nothing. I wait until nighttime and text again. Nothing. 9:40ish strolls around and I get a little conversation then.. nothing.

Tuesday comes – nothing in the morning. Usually I would get a “Hey Beautiful”. Nope! I text him around 10AM to say Hi with funny comment – nothing. 6PM comes around and “Hey Beautiful”. I wait a bit – make him sweat then 6:30PM “Hey you”.. nothing. I text again around 9 to say goodnight.. nothing.

It’s today… nothing so far.

Okay! So I know I sound like a crazy girl! WHAT DO MY TEXTS MEAN! DOES HE LIKE ME! I didn’t think this was normal? Not texting after a date but popping in to say Hi. I don’t even know what to make of this. I read blog after blog after blog and I guess it’s normal.. Is it? Normally I am almost rapid fire texting. I don’t mind him NOT talking to me – but I want to know he’s interested. Do I text him tonight if he doesn’t? How do  I find out he still wants to hang out on Friday?

I am basically not texting him at all unless he texts me and then acting nonchalantly.

I am so PARANOID! I can’t date. I’m going to have a heart-attack over this. Someone make me a male-manual.

I’m such a girl.

Here’s Louis with some insight: http://www.upworthy.com/this-comedian-just-pointed-out-what-dudes-never-think-of-when-asking-a-woman-out-rc2-c-2


How Social Media Ruins Relationships

30 Jul

Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, and whatever else is out there all seem to be the main cause in some form of relationship destruction. I for one am so tired of listening to people complain about how their significant other “liked” another person’s pictures, or favorited their tweet, or added someone on Facebook. Or, “why haven’t they responded to my text when I just saw them update their status!”. It’s driving me insane, to the point where I could just delete everything I own and forget it ever existed!…Well, that’s a huge, fat lie. I’d never do that. I’m too HIP to do that 🙂

How Social Media Destroys Relationships:

Well, as stated above. One significant other will dig so deep into the other’s accounts to find up some form of dirt on them. Or make up from crazy scenerio in their head that so-and-so is cheating because they liked someone’s instagram photo. I think there should be a new dating rule: Don’t add someone on social media until you’re about three months in to a steady relationship. Develop and maintain trust with them. Get to know them. Then stalk.

Also, don’t have all your friends go and add them too. And don’t let him/her add your friends. Sure you want them to get to know one another and be friends and have a great time together, la de da. Bad idea. Stay away from all forms of stalkery until you have secured a steady relationship. If you feel like there’s reasons you’re stalking their accounts or want your friends to –  then why are you with someone who you don’t trust?! My favorite is when they break-up but then keep tabs on them through their friend’s accounts. GET A GRIP!

Another favorite is the “You can update your status but you can’t text me back?” bomb. Maybe your text wasn’t worthy of a response. Maybe I don’t HAVE to answer your text but my status update on how my commute to work is so shitty is much more important so let me get that out of my way first! Then… when I am bored.. I will text you back and we can discuss whatever selfish issue you’re having. Deal?

I also really like when people use social media to get attention or affirmation about something. Someone who posts back to back “selfies”, quotes themselves, creates ridiculous statuses for people to like… Really? What are you missing in your real life that you need someone in webworld to comfort you with? We know the answer before you even say it – so keep it to yourself.

Last but not least, my biggest pet peeve: When a friend posts a status on how lousy their feeling or something somewhat sad.. before they reach out to you for comfort. Mostly something about their relationship.. Hi – I’m your friend – feel free to reach directly out to me. I know you wouldn’t ever really ask how I am or what’s going on with me, or really care about how I’ve been feeling.. But I care about you. Friends do that stuff. You know.. well – maybe not.


Proper protoCall with Booty Calls.

29 Apr

This isn’t a How to – it’s more of a How do I..

Can I just first off telling you some background information. Thanks!

I started hanging out with this guy about a year ago and he seemed mostly concerned with just getting into my pants, which is fine! I am into dudes in my pants, but it was right off the bat and I just wanted to get to know him more. So we did that on and off – just talking to each other, long phone calls, texts all day… it was every girls dream! He was trying to be patient with me, and almost thinking that I was a true nun.

Finally I said fuck it, and literally. He came over a couple times a week bringing me things and making me dinner and yeah, we did it too. I can’t say that I am the most experience sexer in the world, or even close. My track record is low. But this was the best D that I have ever had. Then out of nowhere he disappeared off of the planet. Wouldn’t answer calls or texts.

Every couple months he would text me saying he was sorry and we would hangout for a couple weeks and the same thing happened.

It’s been a year and we are still doing this. Now it’s more he comes over once every couple weeks and stays about an hour and leaves. Which is fine because now I understand what his real intentions are whether or not he comes out and tells me.

The issue is: I love his D so much I want it every day if possible. Though I know that’s not how “Booty Calls” should work. Right?

I’ve never been involved in something like this – I just want sex with someone who cares about me and I care about them and we have this connections and blah blah yawn yawn. Yeah, eventually – but right now I want to try something different – be someone I never had the guts to be (a bit slutty, yes indeed!). But now I have no real protocall on this situation.

How long to wait inbetween each call? If it were up to me – two days max. If he ignores my calls and expects me to answer his – should I stop bothering with it? Should it be a two way street? The chances of him getting bored with me? I fear that – unfortunately I want something good to come out of all this fucking. Possible? How far in advanced can you make one? What if I know I have the apartment to myself this weekend – can I ask now?!

I read about this stuff on a constant basis because I am a horrible, insecure human being that gets self help from articles online. I tend to read into the things he does more than I should. I’ll read articles on how there should be no kissing – but all we do is kiss – 75% of the time. We look at each other. We have conversations with each other. We text each other occasionally about things other than sex… I am so over-thinking this aren’t I?

Basically I just want to get into the male mind. I want to know secrets. Tell me secrets and I will tell you secrets about the female mind. Give me advice. Give me your input. Tell me how lame I am. Anything.


Do you hate me yet?

Why would I ever think dating someone 11 years older would work.

9 Dec

Okay okay. It wasn’t that bad. But yeah. It was pretty bad. I should inform everyone that I am a freshly turned 27 year old who has basically given up on having standards when it comes to men. So I try online dating once in a while with low expectations and hope for an entertaining outcome.

I didn’t know he was 37 at first. He originally said 29. He also originally gave me the wrong name. Let’s say I thought this guy’s name was Bob and he’s 29. We didn’t speak much at first but the things we did talk about was amusing. I like amusing. I’m always trying to find something different and fun… He was! Finally I decided to get off this website – it was just too much annoyance for me to deal with. I sent him a message with my number in it and we started texting after that. Texting turned into phone calls…
These weren’t normal phone calls. They were on average 7 hour long phone calls. This is where he decided to tell me his real name is – let’s say Jack and he’s 37. I was bothered but the things he said were so interesting and so funny. I wanted to see what happened. He was just a great time. Something different I thought. We eventually hung out.
He picked me up in his Acura and we drove through Boston laughing. Listening to weird metal music he made and everything so far was fine. We ended up deciding on going to this Irish place; I like Reubens – this works. As soon as he got out of his car it hit me. This guy is just too old for me. He’s basically dressed like my father, limping like my father. What am I doing! We sit down and I finally get to really look at him. He’s not ugly by no means. But he’s definitely 37. We spoke about music and work and friends. Normal things. But the age just kept hitting me. Hair coming out of his white undershirt. Nails unclipped. Limping. Stretching. The way he wiped his face every bite he took. The way he awkwardly joked to the waitress and told her stories from like 10 years ago. I really was just not feeling this. I wanted to go home and have a real stiff drink.
We finally finish and he’s trying to figure out what we should do next and I’m agreeing but he just keeps changing his mind… In my mind I’m screaming to go home. In the car he mentions he’s tired. HERE IS MY CHANCE! So I tell him that we probably shouldn’t do anything else because I don’t want him to be too tired to drive back home. I don’t know if he bought it but he agreed. I thank him and hop out of his car. 3 strong Tom Collins followed.

Maybe this doesn’t seem like the worst thing possible. But it was definitely an experience.

Nicole says: Maybe I’ll try 8 years now